I'm much better now because I want to
fight. Ups and down are normal. I just need to find the best way to deal with
it. This is a prerequisite, I want to believe. Someday I will know the reason.
It's just hard to accept that in this battle, some of us are alone.
I need a mask of a poker player for I am
such a loser in hiding what I feel. My face is a mirror of my feelings.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s just a mannerism, just a very bad mannerism.
I just miss the old days. It really sucks
to be in between the positive and negative hug. To give and stop receiving. To
take and can't take anymore. To start and still feel the end. Then pretend its
okay when deep inside it’s not. Worst, it’s a must, it is required.
A real friend can see behind the layers of
masks and cares.
So, I
went window shopping…
