Bullies…

Picture not mine

Since I started to know how to find answers on my own, what stops me now?

Finally, bullies… Not once, not twice, not thrice. Maybe I needed some change and find ways so I won’t be a victim of this anymore. There are indeed some people in our lives who demonstrate inapt superiority on others. If it’s not an abuse of authority, here come their insecurities.

Nah… How I wish I’m born witty. It’s really how you are treated and raised in the family if not a natural gift. None of those I have. For sure it’s a different gift.

I have suffered during my childhood. But it ended when I moved in a different place. Then it happened again in another new place. It just depends on the place and the kind of people dwelling there. Sad to say, my flexibility ends with those people who got mood swings and attitude. I can give my heart and be kind, honestly. But I can’t tolerate demanding people. In the end, reality will let you face this kind of people no matter how you like it or not.

Bullying once ended when,

-I gained respect from new acquaintances

-Followed by people who became mature with time who might happened to realize their wrong doings or

-Old bullies cannot demonstrate their superiority in the new territory

-Shift of appearance

-Skills proven

Though I know I failed in the part like

-Being like them

-Communication

“In a humble place, a bully will not waste their time. Once they see the profit, they will fester and competition starts. Decency lost.” ~probinsiyana

Though my warn…

I believe that… You don’t have to please all the people around you and befriend them. I saw some people who gave their time to this and ended up having a very bad relationship when it comes to their closer circle. Time is tricky stuff here. Spend it with people worthy of your time. Realize that people will arrive and then leave.

So now, its time for me to start all over again.  Recycle the old ones and unearth new approach…

2nd Clay Attempt

I felt highly foolish and ridiculous of myself with this 2^nd attempt. I made better figure now, hopefully I you judge it as true.  But I still can’t cook well. It smelled awful and can still remember how the fumes hurt my chest.

My clay has a shiny finish because I use oil on it instead of the original clay softener. I wanted to try the original softener if only it’s cheap; the clay alone is already expensive with the transaction, fare, and shipping fee.

New thing I did?

- I put the tray higher so it won’t burn

- I put a card board between the foil and the tray

Results.

- Temperature. Since I placed a cardboard in a tray, the temperature detected was not higher compared when there was none. Is the thermometer accurate that time? During my first clay attempt, the thermometer detected higher heat faster.

- Smells awfully bad. Ten minutes has passed and I cannot take it any longer. The fumes are so bad it smells nearly like a burning plastic. Is it the cardboard?

- Clay. I was able minimize the burning but it’s evident that if I didn’t removed the clay after 10 minutes, the clay might melt and burn

Lingering Statements/Questions

- Cooking the clay in the stove with water.

- Something burns the clay. Is it the foil? Is it the oil or the high temperature?

- Wouldn’t the oil rotten the clay in the future?

- Is it really a necessity to use the recommended cooking temperature?

- Since some use ceramic tiles, temperature drops above while the heat is higher below. The heat is not distributed well.  What will happen if we don’t use ceramic clay and just lower the temperature?

Necessities

- I might need a ceramic tile

- I need something to resist the heat

Problem

- To cook the clay without melting it and burning the bottom.

Recommendations

- Try to use different card board

- Cook outside so the fumes can escape. (I cooked mine in the room)

The cardboard I tried to use.

My 1st Polymer Clay Art Attempt

Material Used:

Oven

Oven Thermometer (Optional)

Foil

Polymer Clay (China clay)

Plais

Head Pin

Oil (optional)

The clay is hard. Most of my first clays have baby oil mixed to soften it. If possible, I don’t like to use oil since I really don’t know how it affects the clay chemically, nor if it can rotten or weaken it faster than it intends to.

I put the pan in the lowest rack. Then I preheated the oven. Put a foil to avoid scorching heat (Even if I’m unsure whether my oven does scorch). Waited for just 10-15 minutes.

Then, when I looked at the clay, it melted. The cupcake doesn’t look like a cupcake anymore and the teddy bear was burned. I am wondering why the 2 clay doesn’t have the same level of burning. The end of the teddy bear was really burned.

I was almost anxious in my oven thermometer since it took more than 5-10 minutes after the arrow changed temperature. Did I just buy a broken thermometer? Found it not though. It just takes long to determine temperature.

I wonder if it’s due to:

-The oil.

-The pan distance to the heating element.

-The foil.

It was not in my mind to take a before picture prior to the cooking. But the cupcake has a bit of slants until it was cooked and became straight.

Tips & Suggestion:

Know how much you electricity you consume.

http://apps.meralco.com.ph/appcal/

Sending in GCASH experience (Cash In)

I wouldn’t give a detailed introduction of what GCASH is for I don’t know the maximum of what it offers. All I knew is I should pay someone through the use of GCASH.

Prior to this, you need to register in GCASH on your phone through dialing *143# and accomplish the information needed.

What was ask

-I.D.

-Minimum load of 15

-A tm or globe sim card

-A form to write the transaction

-You needed a number for this transaction, ask the guard.

What to expect

-It will took you longer if it was your first time

-It may be free but you needed a load of P15. Free eh?

-They will take a picture of you trough their cellphone.

Impression?

-Confusing form

-Confusing advertisement.

-Easier transaction

-I was deducted 7php and I don’t know why.

-Might be cheaper than LBC
-I like that they have their own photocopy machine
-Fast

Recommendation:

-Ask or research for hidden charges

-Remember to read the terms and condition

There is a charge for accounts that has been stagnant for months.

It’s funny to know that the most accommodating staff is the security guard. :)

I'm Afraid of Myself

I’m sorry I’ve been gone again. I was just having a lot of blue days… I don’t even have strength to get rid or lessen this sadness that is rotting me inside nor have the mood to channel it in writing. It was hard and I was afraid to face it. And only just ignore it...

How can I find solution if I’m not even sure of the problem? Or maybe it comes back to the truth that I don’t want to face it. It is said that you shouldn’t have to cling your emotion to anyone. But if you love the person, no matter what she/he is, a friend, family, partner or etc, being ignored still hurts. How to tell someone to give time and attention if it’s not their will?

I can’t help it... It’s a part of me. And that makes me feel like stupid. Until the claim becomes real, I start doing stupid things. Stupid things from being taken for granted. I start to get afraid of myself and for my  future stupid acts. But I don’t want to be a burden…

I might be okay in a day, but there are minutes of it that sadness overwhelms me. I felt like a much withered plant due death.

My heart does ache … and I lost my confidence.