But why do you make me feel like I could have been yours? Then only to find out that you chose a different girl. Why do you have to make me feel like your regretting, that I am also to be blame for not trying. But hey, did you even try your best?
You know I like you, but I'm still sane. I have said enough of what you need to hear but it still feels like you're not sure of making it real. If there's one thing I can be afraid of, it's the part that I am just one of the options. Or can it be, you're the one who's afraid of it?
But honestly, what happened in the past makes us not really meant to be. You cannot change what female instinct can perceive. I didn't feel your effort and it doesn't make me feel that I'm the girl you're looking for. I WAS also afraid..
I still feel hurt only if I'm stupid enough think about it. It's impossible to ignore that there was once an existing attachment. I let you see the real me and even the vulnerable me. But well, it's just one of the gambles we take to eventually find the right one for us...
For all the crush I have before xD
I don't really want to make the first move. It such a huge and risky effort. It belittles our womanhood. It's like carrying the whole load and giving excuses for the guys that it's just okay if they will not strive hard in the future. I want a guy who knows what he wants and is sure of it. I don't want to blame myself later in life.
And I am right for doing this... Waiting, no matter how long it will take, is worth it. I may have experience traumatizing heart aches from the past, I really do feel blessed with my partner now and how he made (or how he tries to make) my dreams come true.
I still feel hurt only if I'm stupid enough think about it. It's impossible to ignore that there was once an existing attachment. I let you see the real me and even the vulnerable me. But well, it's just one of the gambles we take to eventually find the right one for us...
For all the crush I have before xD
- - -
I don't really want to make the first move. It such a huge and risky effort. It belittles our womanhood. It's like carrying the whole load and giving excuses for the guys that it's just okay if they will not strive hard in the future. I want a guy who knows what he wants and is sure of it. I don't want to blame myself later in life.
And I am right for doing this... Waiting, no matter how long it will take, is worth it. I may have experience traumatizing heart aches from the past, I really do feel blessed with my partner now and how he made (or how he tries to make) my dreams come true.
Normally girl's are not really into making the first move. Well, that's their nature. But if you have the same feeling with that guy, why not put some reason for him to fight for you? Guy's are not "manghuhula" they are not designed to be always brave. In some sense, we are also "nakikiramdam".
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't always work that way Anon. Love comes naturally. If you really like the person, you could atleast have the courage to stay. Can't the mere existence of the person enough to fight for? Nakikiramdam is like settling with whoever is available.
DeleteAgree. "love comes naturally". But problem is, she probably didn't put some reason for him to stay. As per your statement "I don't really want to make the first move." giving a clue of feeling doesn't really necessary mean that a girl is making the first move. That's why I've used the word nakikiramdam since guy are not manghuhula they are just waiting for proper sign in response to his emotion. How will a guy do that if there's no clue? Well. I don't really know. If you don't mind, if you would want to expand your story. I am open to listen.
ReplyDeleteThanks Anon but it's pretty useless to further discuss this. The day I wrote this, there's just something that reminded me of it. I actually hate this written stuff, maybe I should delete it. It's like a ghost in the past. But everything that happened before made me who I am now. Sounds cliche. We cannot change the past, right? Changing it could also mean erasing the happy moments. I just hate the part that I've gone through a lot of exhausting things. I wish that there's really a long lasting happiness waiting for me in the end. i love my bf. I hope you'll leave your name in your next comment ^_^
Delete"I wish that there's really a long lasting happiness waiting for me in the end. Surely yes, just do some move :) again it doesn't really mean you are putting the first move on giving a clue. Imagine a car that there's no driver, how would it be possible to move from one point to another? Would it be possible? Ofcoure not. Similarly, you are the driver of yourself. One thing that I would like to share with you, "as long as you are doing the right thing and you know to yourself that it is rational, definitely you would conquer your negative feelings". Bwt, I am happy that you have special someone already. :) I hope he would take care of you truly...
ReplyDeleteBytheway, its papajack ;D
ReplyDeleteNo, just kidding...
Stalker... :p
DeleteHow?
ReplyDeleteI'm a good friend
ReplyDelete