I did it again. Sorry.
I wanted to look back but time is refraining me. I’m holding the tears
that have wanted to shed when I haven’t seen you this morning. It inflamed the
self pity I’ve been feeling and keeping for the past days. I’ve been lonely and if this time I will deny it again,
pretend everything is okay, I’ll die from it. I don’t want to admit it straight
on you, for I am ashamed of myself. I wanted you so much that it hurts. Your
attention is my nourishment, the fuel that has sustained me. Please bear with
me. I'll work on it. I fear becoming an annoyance. I wanted to change myself. I
wanted to be strong unlike being so dependent. I wanted to become the one you
needed, the one that is right for you, else I’m better being solitaire.
I’m too vulnerable. I’m too weak. If only I can find the
switch and minimize the emotion. Conscience is knocking, yet I am frozen. I cannot move. Not
that I don’t love you, in fact I am so concern of you. I care for you more than
I care for myself. I’m messing everything.
Please bear with me...
-Beyond Reach
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