My Red Baby

There will always be a child within us...

I've been gone. And the culprit, as usual, was my sleeping habit. I sleep like I a sick person though I wish it’s far from truth.

It was a big weekend except the fact that I wasted the following weekdays. My first baby was born. It is square headed like me. My impression will follow later.

I have everything now, everything that I needed. Yet, I still haven’t done the real leap. I know purchasing the device was already a step, but the real game is just about to begin.

My body is a bit deprived with happy chemicals and soon I might even forget how to really smile. Just this year, someone made me realize I don't even laugh. When did I actually stop laughing? I asked myself. It felt like part of me died and I only just realize my loss.

Also, this transition in life is turning me into emotionless human being. I don't want to be like this. I want happiness to surround every corner of my life. Back when I was young, I already had this confusion from people's behavior like there's something that makes them always unhappy and unsatisfied. And since I was just a child, I wonder what's wrong. I'm already idealistic back then. Life can be a fairy tale yet older people hold back.

Being older now, I learned the importance of those precious years for a child. I believe that children should have a beautiful childhood experience for they will bring those memories forever.

"I don't wanna be like that..." my child within me will say that. But I am here now, my turn. To make a difference? Let's see. I'll pray not to lose track.

For my little sissy, I hope she'll enjoy life. I wish this particular person will not damage her life...  And also I wish I can be a good and a model sister to her.