I realized I'm still unprepared of engaging in some things. The
approaching event summon a fear that has been buried deep and
sleeping. Will I honestly enjoy such event? I'm not
an ordinary girl, who'll do for a hostess of an event nor an
entertainer. I hate parties.
I find it hard to say no. How much more when its just few days
from now? Ayaw ko sana napapangunahan. I want to do things on my
own way. I remember when he ambushes me that I am already invited.
Those things like surprises doesn't really work with my tastes. It's
easier to reject if it's just a favor of a new found friend, the
closer the person the harder. But why do some people gets so
insensible nor blind themselves with other people's feeling. They ask
favors without minding if it would be okay with the person whom they
asked, like if those things would be comfortable.
I realized that a sort of this kind of thing has already happened
not once nor twice before. The only thing that didn’t change was my
opinion or reaction in these things. I just can't say an early 'no',
for if possible I wanted to grant it and say 'yes'. But it's really a
'no' for this time...
I just want to be understood and not to be pressured. I want to be
a friend you can count on, but please be gentle, please bear with me,
and please be careful with the approach. Honestly I'm still not
physically, mentally and most of all is emotionally prepared for
this. Let's be sensible...
Time will come that this will not be an issue anymore... Someone's
gonna have to wait...
Like her, please don't get tired... let's not tire ourselves.
Sana umiwas tayo na magsama ng tao just to show off, or to prove
something to other people.
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