Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Danger with Guy Friends

Being with guy friends means: no shrieking and excessive talks about crushes and opposite sex as if it's the only thing that matters, no exaggerated scream when a cockroach and rats passes by and most of all there's no destructive competition that's so common in a female group.

I have a closer relationship with my guy friends. They're mostly the last to stick to this friendship despite the changes that happened in our lives now. I generally hate guys... though most of the special person in my life belongs to that gender. Even my social life consists of them.

You might think that the friendship with them is very susceptible with falling in love. It happens to some but there are those who don't mind it. Falling in love with them was never a problem. It's a matter of discipline. It depends upon your character and actions too. It's really under the control of female. You're giving them a reason to act the way they do.

When it happens, talking to them and leaving them for awhile is the remedy I do so they could overcome that hallucination. It's only in the mind. Awkward, yes. But soon they will return to being the same adopted annoying brother that is always there to give advice when it's needed.

Sometimes I wish they never mentioned it. But isn't it better to have a courage rather than cowardice? For we want the right guy to also have the courage to ask our hands when he finally arrive. Only a serious guy will do that. Such an endangered species!

The thing is...

It's not the hardest part with a guy friend. It's when they get into this phase where they become so lonely for some unknown reason. Then they want a lot of attention and time. They're like a lost sheep. Worst is, guys have this huge ego that prevent them to admit any kind weakness. They're so stubborn. They don't tell what they want. What they're saying is not really what they meant most of the time. They're fickle minded. It's confusing. This is the time that I forget that they're from Mars and I'm from Venus. They can be super annoying because they simply can't say they want to feel special.

It's not easy and you should also be very careful. You shouldn't give a guy a lot of attention and be too sweet unless he's your boyfriend. I hope that the other guy realizes that too. As if I can say that to my stubborn guy friends. I'll just end up like a nagging Mom they want to avoid. Every man needs a woman in their life. Someone they can look up to. Unfortunately some of those I knew settle into m.u. or friends with some benefits instead of a real relationship.

I have another dilema with a guy friend. Not a new experience actually. It's when you wonder what the heck happened to this person that suddenly he acts like I'm the only source of affection and I'm depriving it. Like an irritated and taken for granted boyfriend! My own boyfriend don't even throw that kind of tantrums anymore o_0. But why you? and why me? I feel like I'm drowning. What exactly should I do or how can I help without suffering and sacrificing my happiness and other priorities?

I am not a baby sitter. You don't even know why you are sad. Then you make me feel like I'm a cruel friend from staying away. You don't share your problems. You keep secrets. You don't sort your life. You're not willing to find solutions. You cling to me. I wanna strangle your neck friend!


  1. I've had M.U. before with a friend na kinaibigan lang ako kasi nga may gusto pala sya sa kin. We've been like that for 7 months lang then we separate ways. But now, we still talk and feels like there's no past between us. And becoz I have a bf now, he doesn't matter to me anymore. I just hope na sana nagstay na lang kame sa pagiging friends.



    1. Daming ganyan. And I regret that I have invested some of my time with those kind of guys. They're like they're just with us for that long while weighing their time if they really want us.

      So far, I know to distinguish na if a guy is like that. So if there's a new guy who want to befriend me, I don't entertain it anymore. Friendship will come naturally anyway. :3

  2. According to your statements..rephrase version "you don't understand what he's problem really all about" I'll give you a tip. On that case, may gusto siya sayo but the fact that you have a bf, he has no confidence to reveal that. Sometimes, we are hiding our romantic feeling into friendship. Because believe it or not, sometimes friendship is a stepping stone of love. So my conclusion, he is inlove to you. :)

    1. Anon, I hope you use a name. I might not publish your comment if you will insist being anonymous. I knew that he likes me before. Friendship is a stepping stone of love - that's right. In fact, one of my best friend is my boyfriend now. It started with friendship.

      That inlove thingy is a past issue already. Nasettle nat napag usapan na... Clear about not crossing the bridge... years later and fast forward... Now is a different thing, and "I don't understand what's his problem really is". We can talk about this just pm me (rather than arguing in this post)... I know this is normal with some guys and it's dangerous to meddle with them at this moment. This is the time that they become very vulnerable. Gusto nila ng someone na mag aalaga sa kanila because they're lonely for some reason na hindi nila alam, ayaw nilang aminin and ayaw nilang harapin. Lonely for what? Madaming dahilan and it's hard to guess without the confirmation of the person.

  3. That's the sad truth on 'platonic relationships' between a girl and a boy. Eventually, although not always, one would cross the 'line' intentionally or otherwise. The level of comfort a strong bond and friendship translates to 'a stepping stone' into a strong relationship. Sadly, you said there in the post. If X gave too much attention/sweetness to Y, it could be easily misinterpreted as something 'special', and once reduced or gone, the clamour will be felt.

    I have had some experiences in the past, whether ako yung nagkamali ng pagkaintindi sa friendship at na-fall, or yung kabilang party. In the end what I learned that the one of the best if not the best solution is clear communication. Not all men are really good at this I must admit. We tend to shy away and hide our feelings rather than expressing it. Pero hindi exception at ligtas ang ibang ladies dito.

    Sensya na, sa haba ng comment ko parang wala rin namang pinatunguhan. Hugot na lang ako! xD


    1. Clear communication. Oo nga nuh. Yet it's so hard to initiate discussing about these things to the guy involved. Hindi ganun kadali because it will end up into a fight. I've done that many times, even with my partner. They end up being defensive most of the time. But after a looooong time of fighting and when I give up with the issue, they will say "Tama ka naman talaga eh". Me "Whaaaat?" I did some guessing lang naman and I will never be sure unless he will confirm that I'm really right. Then another guy best friend said "You should be the one who understand". It's a huge responsibility if it's only me who always understand. My brain will overheat. But maybe... maybe I know what's really is happening unconsciously.

      "Pero hindi exception at ligtas ang ibang ladies dito." - totoo.

    2. I really hope youd reach and end up with a resolution on this matter. IMHO, no one should be tasked as 'the one who should understand.' It should be for both parties involved. If a person would end up with 'tama ka naman talaga eh' and would still end up unresolved, I think that speaks volumes of somebody's maturity level.
      If someone is mature and respects you enough, theyd appreciate your views and honesty. Rather than 'it will end up into a fight' or 'being defensive.'

      [I sound like an old man tuloy] ;)

    3. Hey, thanks! Everything will gonna be all right. I usually just ignore the problem. Sometimes I get impatient and want to confront for "It was tactical, a strategy to stop future attack. Ender's Game lang?... lols XD


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