I’m sorry I’ve been gone again. I was just having a lot of
blue days… I don’t even have strength to get rid or lessen this sadness that is
rotting me inside nor have the mood to channel it in writing. It was hard and I
was afraid to face it. And only just ignore it...
How can I find solution if I’m not even sure of the
problem? Or maybe it comes back to the truth that I don’t want to face it. It
is said that you shouldn’t have to cling your emotion to anyone. But if you
love the person, no matter what she/he is, a friend, family, partner or etc,
being ignored still hurts. How to tell someone to give time and attention if it’s
not their will?
I can’t help it... It’s a part of me. And that makes me feel
like stupid. Until the claim becomes real, I start doing stupid things. Stupid
things from being taken for granted. I start to get afraid of myself and for my future stupid acts. But I don’t want
to be a burden…
I might be okay in a day, but there are minutes of it that
sadness overwhelms me. I felt like a much withered plant due death.
My heart does ache … and I lost my confidence.
